Facebook Not Helping Area Man Find Friends

Local man Arnscaryie Blanchard is confused why his Facebook listing isn’t generating more friend requests. “It’s weird,” said Blanchard, speaking from the small shack he calls home in a heavily wooded area off Interstate 84. “I pretty much look exactly the same as I did in high school, but no one from my class has added me as a friend on Facebook.” Blanchard admits that he was a bit of a social misfit and often was “awkward and uncomfortable” around other people but says he is now ready to turn over a new leaf. “The days of me parading around with a can of gasoline and a lit match are long over,” he promises. “Now I mostly just sit very still for long stretches of the day and think.”

Blanchard is hopeful that someone will send him a friend request soon. “I’m up for a little chat, or maybe a cup of coffee…or a sleep over would be nice.”


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